In my writing class this week, we did an exercise: writing letters. To be honest, I don’t write many letters, and definitely haven’t written and sent a proper letter in my time at Cornell.
My mom is always horrified when I need to ask her basic questions about how mailing, stamps and addressing works, an annual Christmas tradition of shame when I assist with mailing out our family card. To be fair, I teach her how to make digital stickers from photos and send them in a group chat such that it rains a two-second wall of someone’s face. So the knowledge transfer isn’t totally one-sided.
But I digress. I really enjoyed the letter-writing exercise, and it made me realize just how substanceless texting is. Yes, texting is extremely helpful; I don’t want to seem like some kind of old hag coming for the phones with a cane. But while texting is awesome for practical and logistical interactions, it also waters down meaningful interactions and potentially, our relationships.
I argue that texting doesn’t allow our relationships to develop further, especially across long-distances, in a way that letter writing would. This is especially pertinent to Cornell students, where most of our student body comes from all over the world, leaving behind our family, lifelong friends and community. But also, Cornell students don’t stay at Cornell forever. We go on to work all around the world after graduating, separating from lifelong college friends. That adds up to a lot of long-distance friendships and relationships, which are usually maintained by texting or social media.
Over text, catching up with long-distance friends can quickly turn into a cookie-cutter slew of “How are you,” “I’m good/busy,” “Lmao” and “LOLs.” These are punctuated by brief bursts of who’s dating who, job and school updates, and the like. It’s impersonal, and frankly, unless you have a really exciting communicater on your hands, can be pretty dry.
I’m at the point where if I’m texting a good friend or family member, I know exactly how they’re going to respond based on my text. It’s like talking to a computer, and certainly doesn’t feel like a human, much less a unique one that I know and am close with. Furthermore, I feel like it’s common knowledge to save important news, big fights, and exciting conversations for a phone call at a minimum, which can be hard to coordinate.
Social media is an entirely new can of worms. Take reels (short-form videos on an endless scroll) for example, common on most platforms, such as TikTok, Instagram, and even LinkedIn. They’re a fairly common way for people to socialize. I send several a day to both people I see everyday and faraway friends. It’s fun, but, not to be a total Debby-Downer, the reel or post you’re sending to your friend has already been sent a couple thousand times already. Which is fine, there’s nothing wrong with that from an entertainment perspective, but doesn’t lend much to meaningful connection or a unique dynamic.
I’m not saying we should do away with texting or social media at all — but we should shift our view of it as a logistical tool: to plan meet-ups, to schedule group projects, hatch spontaneous plots, coordinate drop-offs and pick-ups and the like. Texting should not be seen as a replacement for genuine connection.
To Cornell students, who will probably grow up, attend college and work in three different cities: don’t let your relationships cheapen or wither away just because of distance. Everyone has special people in your life, and you won’t be with them forever. Texting is obviously better than nothing, but I think writing a letter, or even an email, is worth the extra effort.
A letter is simply more thoughtful. When you’re writing by hand, you’re thinking over each sentence more slowly. You’re reflecting on what’s important, not just to say about yourself, but what’s unique and relevant to your relationship. You can think of better questions to ask. Hopefully you have stylistic considerations in mind as well. It lends a level of decorum, respect and time investment that texting lacks. You can text twenty people in half an hour, but can only write one or two letters in that time period. It makes the person feel more special to you, and it makes them feel special in turn.
I wrote a letter to my sister and will attempt to send it to her sometime over the course of the semester. I’ll need to actually figure out what her address is, where to buy envelopes and stamps in Ithaca and the closest mailbox to my house — a lot more work than sending a text. I will also be referencing this wikiHow, because I’m a first time snail-mailer and want the letter to actually reach her.
So this is my advice for Cornell students: Take a break from your busy schedule and send a friend from afar an email or letter. I guarantee they’d love to receive it and hear what you’re up to. It’s fun to write too.
You can think about happy memories with that special person while writing it, and what could be better than that? Don’t let stamps and envelopes stop you from showing the people you love that you care, and send that letter.
Aurora Weirens is a fourth year student in the College of Arts & Sciences. Her fortnightly column The Northern Light illuminates student life. She can be reached at [email protected].
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